All the Whisky Men

World of Whisky

From the Lowlands to the Highlands
From Japan to the Hebrides
From Orkney to Kentucky
And the far Antipodes
From Tennessee to Canada
And Ireland’s emerald land
There’s a world of whisky out there
So let’s have another dram
There’s a world of whisky out there
So let’s have another dram

Here’s to the corn and the maize
The barley and the rye
Here’s to the good old angels
Floating up on high
Here’s to the worms and the washbacks
The still house and the vats
The wood so tight – a lovely sight
Hoggies and big butts

It’s better for you than red wine
Less calories than beer
You can drink it any time of day
And any time of year
You can pour it on your porridge
Or dab it behind your ears
In the hallowed halls of alcohol
Whisky has no peer

From the Lowlands to the Highlands
From Japan to the Hebrides
From Orkney to Kentucky
And the far Antipodes
From Tennessee to Canada
And Ireland’s emerald land
There’s a world of whisky out there
So let’s have another dram
There’s a world of whisky out there
So let’s have another dram

Here’s to the Bernasconi’s
The father and the sons
Through their World of Whisky
They give joy to everyone
They bring the finest nectar
Into Switzerland
And heaven is in the Waldhaus
For the lovers of good drams

Here’s to the guys who drink the stuff
A little or a lot
And here’s to the guys who sell it to ‘em
What a difficult job they’ve got
Here’s to the whisky blenders
May their noses be insured
But the guys who make it – you can take it
The keys to heaven are yours

From the Lowlands to the Highlands
From Japan to the Hebrides
From Orkney to Kentucky
And the far Antipodes
From Tennessee to Canada
And Ireland’s emerald land
There’s a world of whisky out there
So let’s have another dram
There’s a world of whisky out there
So let’s have another dram

From the Lowlands to the Highlands
From Japan to the Hebrides
From Orkney to Kentucky
And the far Antipodes
From Tennessee to Canada
And Ireland’s emerald land
There’s a world of whisky out there
So let’s have another dram
There’s a world of whisky out there
So let’s have another dram

Mmm Let’s have another dram

NICO

Nico you’re a sun of a gun
That’s what your daddy told me
And I’ve come all this way
Just to shake your hand
I’ve come over mountain passes
Cos they tell me nothing matches
The top of the world in Switzerland

The summer sun is trapped inside
That little seed of barley
At least a hundred winters
In that small piece of oak
The spirit, when it ages
Lets you turn the pages
Of ten thousand years gone up in smoke

If you have scars – don’t let them show
Catch a falling star – and then let it go
Always make time for the after-glow
Smile and wave and take a bow

Nico you’re a sun of a gun
That’s what your daddy told me
And I’ve come all this way
Just to shake your hand
I’ve come over mountain passes
Cos they tell me nothing matches
The top of the world in Switzerland

Nico you’ll have plenty of time
To dance upon the mountains
And laugh at all the craziness
In the valleys down below
And Nico just imagine
The wonders that can happen
If we can escape this puppet show

Don’t stand in the shadow of a redwood tree
Step out into the sun and set your spirit free
There are giants, there are legends, but believe you me
Your own path is the only one to go

Nico you’re a sun of a gun
That’s what your daddy told me
And I’ve come all this way
Just to shake your hand
I’ve come over mountain passes
Cos they tell me nothing matches
The top of the world in Switzerland

Nico you’re a sun of a gun
That’s what your daddy told me
And I’ve come all this way
Just to shake your hand
I’ve come over mountain passes
Cos they tell me nothing matches
The top of the world in Switzerland

All the Whisky Men

I poured a dram and I closed my eyes
I’m in a room with the whisky men
All those cool and colourful guys
From nowadays to way back when
Five hundred years of the Whisky Men
Heroes and characters one and all
From monacled Johnny and Charlie Maclean
To Friar John Cor and his famous eight bolls

All the Whisky Men
I’m in their company
All the Whisky Men
Having a dram with me

Tommy Dewar’s burning my ears
With all the tales of his latest trip
Old Glenlivet just appeared
Packing two pistols on his hip
Long John’s longer than little John Black
But he’s not blacker than old Long John
Jim McEwan never holds back
His wonderful stories rolling on and on

All the Whisky Men
I’m in their company
All the Whisky Men
Having a dram with me

Bernasconi has the biggest whisky bar
Two and a half thousand to be precise
Gunter Sommer has the smallest by far
No beer, no vodka, no wine, no dice
Richard Paterson in a very nice tie
Is throwing stuff around like he tends to do
The angels are teaching Michael Jackson to fl y
He’s a Yorkshire Lithuanian atheist Jew

All the Whisky Men
I’m in their company
All the Whisky Men
Having a dram with me

Jim Murray’s preaching from his bible again
And Restless Peter can’t keep still
All the Grants are down from the Glen
Pip Hills is grilling Dr Bill
I see two guys who are having a row
Aeneas Coffey and Robert Stein
It’s time to open the whisky now
Pour them a dram and they’ll get along fine

All the Whisky Men
I’m in their company
All the Whisky Men
Having a dram with me

Suddenly my dream goes Pop!
All the whisky men disappear
I didn’t want this dream to stop
I’m softly sobbing in my beer
A door fl ies open with a sudden noise
Shrieks of laughter and bows and frills
Now I don’t miss those whisky boys
Cos I’m surrounded by the whisky girls

All the whisky girls
I’m in their company
All the whisky girls
Having a dram with me

All the whisky girls
I’m in their company
All the whisky girls
Laughing and teasing me

Background of this song

A reverie that became a song – sharing a dram with a load of whisky guys,
past and present – and of course, Claudio is in there among them.

Claudio’s Music Room

Slowly the sunlight faded
Beyond the dark horizon;
The beauty of these Swiss mountains
Is the finest I’ve cast my eyes on.
We sat and we filled our glasses,
Lit candles to chase the gloom,
With Claudio Bernasconi
In his wonderful music room.

Ballads and folk and classical
Hard rock and blues and madrigals
Pink Floyd was truly magical
On the Dark Side of the Moon.

What fun we had that evening
Matching the drams to music;
With a hunch or imagination
We’d taste then agree and choose it.
At times we found peace and calmness
But also we laughed and cried
Sharing our songs and stories
Till the light from the candles died.

Macallan, Tamdhu, Glendronach,
Family Cask Glenfarclas,
From Bowmore we flew to Talisker
On a magic carpet ride.

When the world seems to be unfriendly
Or I’m feeling sad and lonely
I think on that lovely evening
With Claudio Bernasconi,
These joys can seem quite fleeting
They come and soon they go
But memories of special moments
Can last forever more.

The Devil’s Place/p>

Oh the barley is a bold and a bearded man
And he’ll put courage in your hand
But the one thing you must understand
Is the Devil is a trickster

So if you come to the Devil’s Place
Please be aware of what you’ll face
Don’t be afraid to try a taste
Of the well-distilled elixir

Oh the Devil has a hoof and a horn and a tail
He’ll stick your head in the whisky pail
You’ll have to read the morning papers in brail
If you take his invitation

So don’t you listen to his sweet talk
Don’t lay your head on his chopping block
Tell him where to stick his fork
And pay him no attention

To the Devil’s face we can bid farewell
For together we can chase that Devil back to Hell
That Devil back to Hell

Oh we don’t care what the Devil intends
When in the company of good friends
We’ll stay away from the malcontents
For that way lies disaster

So drink fine whisky and good ale
And sense and manners will prevail
We’ll tie a knot in the Devil’s tail
And show him who’s the master

To the Devil’s face we can bid farewell
For together we can chase that Devil back to Hell

In the Devil’s place there’s a tale to tell
Of how he cannot show his face now he’s back in Hell
Now he’s back in Hell

Oh the barley is a bold and a bearded man
And he’ll put courage in your hand
But the one thing you must understand
Is the Devil is a trickster

So drink fine whisky and good ale
And sense and manners will prevail
We’ll tie a knot in the Devil’s tail
And show him who’s the master
Show him who’s the master
We’ll show him we’re the master

Whisky for Breakfast

I take whisky for my breakfast
To see me through the day
Just one little whisky
Helps me on my way
It clears my tubes, thins my blood
Clarifies my head
Just one little whisky
Then I go back to bed

I don’t need no scrambled eggs
I don’t need no bacon
A single malt is all I need
To stop my hands from shakin’

Some folks love their cornflakes
And others porridge oats
Shredded wheat or sugar puffs
Whatever floats your boat
If I have to eat grass for breakfast
This is the kind I’ll choose
A little bit of barley
Converted into booze

I don’t need no scrambled eggs
I don’t need no bacon
A single malt is all I need
To stop my hands from shakin’

Claudio Bernasconi
Lives in St Moritz
He cleans his teeth with whisky
And he very seldom spits
He brushes then he gargles
And swallows it with glee
And then comes down for breakfast
And he has the same as me

I don’t need no scrambled eggs
I don’t need no bacon
A single malt is all I need
To stop my hands from shakin’

I come from the land of Calvin
The Devil and John Knox
Where winter lasts for half a year
And we sleep in woolly socks
If I lived in southern lands
And woke up in the sun
I wouldn’t need breakfast whisky
Well, maybe just the one.

I don’t need no scrambled eggs
I don’t need no bacon
A single malt is all I need
To stop my hands from shakin’

When I go to Islay
I party all night long
Fun and drams and stories
Even the occasional song
Sometimes I take breakfast
Before I go to bed
But if there’s nothing in the fridge
I have another dram instead

I don’t need no scrambled eggs
I don’t need no bacon
A single malt is all I need
To stop my hands from shakin’
To stop my knees from quakin’
To stop my bones from achin’
To stop my skin from flakin’
To stop my heart from breakin’
Unless I am mistaken’
I’ll be dancin’ like a Jamaican
Oh whisky for my breakfast
And I’m limbo dancin’ all day long

Mother Lode

When I was a young man I took to the road
Intending to follow wherever it would go
I had coins in my pocket
But none of them were gold
I was looking for the mother lode.

And I’ve seen – maple trees in flame
From Montreal Island to the Gulf of Maine
And once in Japan when the sky was blue
I stood under cherry blossom rain

And I’ve been – on overcrowded trains
From the mountains of India down to the plains
Seen colours that would brighten any jaded view
But they couldn’t hide the poverty and pain.

When I was a young man I took to the road
Intending to follow wherever it would go
I had coins in my pocket
But none of them were gold
I was looking for the mother lode.

And I’ve seen – the Southern Cross at night
And Kilimanjaro when the moon was bright
Seen green and purple colours dancing in the sky
Yes I recall the Northern Lights

Over time – I’ve sailed the seven seas
Seen many marvels and countless mysteries
With a curious mind – anyone can find
A world of endless possibilities

I found silver and I found gold
But mainly I’ve been happy along the road
And now I know that’s the true Mother Lode

And I’ve carried – many fine things home
But everything I’ve owned was only on loan
What matters to me now is that the ones I love
Can be with me to the next milestone

When I was a young man I took to the road
Intending to follow wherever it would go
I had coins in my pocket
But none of them were gold
I was looking for the mother lode.

I found silver and I found gold
But mainly I’ve been happy along the road
And now I know that’s the true Mother Lode
And now I know that’s the true Mother Lode